{ Bobby Come Back!}

So, it’s been about 9 months that we have been in China. We are lucky to have found ourselves in a town that has a lot of ex-pats and there is a lot of western food here that is close but not the same. We have made some good friends and when they left China we got their spices and left over this and that, so for the most part we have been luck to have a  little bit of the western flavor when we want it.  But there are still things we miss. With that said, we also know some of the most amazing people. We have a friend who comes to China for work. This time around he came out of his way to spend the weekend here in Suzhou with us. Another one of our friends from home, Jason along with Ashley's dad put together a bag full of things we missed from home. It made my weekend to have a friend here with similar interests, and to have some one to run around town with and just have an all around fun weekend.

I am sad to say it didn’t start off good. I picked up Bobby from the airport at 6:30pm, with the intent on hopping onto the metro, taking a 30 minute train to Suzhou, and be in home in time for dinner. Excited and distracted to have Bobby here, I took us the long way to the train station on the Shanghai metro and we just missed the last train home, so we had to run to the other side of town to a different train station to get a train ride home. Buying the ticket for the last train at 11:05 pm, we assumed it was for a high speed train until we stopped to look at it more closely. It was a slow "K" train that takes 1 1/2 hours as opposed to the high speed 30 minutes. CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Each car holds 100 people and they pack on 150-200 per car and it was the last one.  We got home after midnight. It sucked.

In spite of that, Bobby was here and we had a great weekend. We walked around Suzhou and I got to show him the town. We played games(til 2am)  and had some great food, with a side of Chinese redbull. It was nice to have someone that spoke Chinese, this way I knew what people were saying.  you got to love Bobby as he would just tell me that they were just asking about me and was doing his best not to tell me that they were calling me fat. I just kept reminding him that I have been fat most of my life and I’m ok with it. Bobby was here Thursday through Sunday when I took him to the train station and sent him on his way. It was sad and hard to see him go as this was with out a doubt the best weekend I have had in china.

Anyone else up for a visit? 

-Jeff 

{ The Post Where Jeff Decides His Limit on Future Children}

OK. So, one or two kids... Maybe.

I had the chance to watch the kids of the branch president here is Suzhou. They have 8 kids but only left the older 7 with us, ages 13-2.  For those of you who know me well, I love kids and have worked with kids in the past (daycare,summer camp),  so I felt pretty sure that I was ready for this. Though perhaps not as much as I thought. On the first night I got tested by the 5 year old who was hell bent on not taking a bath. I tried the nice guy, the jerk, and then finally started "helping" him with his clothes, but nothing seemed to stop him from screaming for dear life.  It got to the point that night that I resorted to calling their dad. I felt like a failure  at this point, but after talking the father(OT) and Ashley I decided that I  just needed to start making the kids work for me, and set them to work with regimented tasks for each child.   It worked!  I made the older kids take care of the little ones and I cooked and made them clean...it was great.

I love cooking, but cooking for that many people is "fun". You never know how much 7 kids can or are willing to eat. On the first night I made dinner we ran out and I had to make more, then the next night I made way too much (which  was ok as I just used it for lunch). One day we went to the movies and I made popcorn at home and got some soda to take with us so I had two kids with backpacks  full of food.  We had popcorn, oranges,soda. The kids liked it ( Probably because they weren't allowed to have soda, thinking back on it), and I didn’t have to spend that much money.   All and all it was a great week and I really had a good time. We took Jack with us and at first the kids wanted nothing to do with him. After a day or two it was the other way around. They ran jack hard and his favorite spot in the house was over the air vent where he would lay on it as long as the kids would let him.  So now the kids want a dog.  Sorry OT.   So now I think I may just want a kid or two after dealing with all the crazy that is the Benson house hold.  But what great kids,  sorry it took me so long to get this up, and I will try to write more.

-Jeff

Jack eating up the attention!

Both Jeff and Jack exhausted. Nap time anyone?

{Observations on Religion & Culture}

Living in a different country submerges you into a new culture and society with priorities that often differ and clash with our own. One of the biggest thoughts that I've been mulling over in my head over the past few months is the effects of a vacuum of religion in China and how it's affected the culture and people here. While I don't think I have it completely ironed out like I'd like to, I did want to share some of the observations I've had while living here so far.

The Chinese culture is rich with traditions. There is a way and a time for everything to be done. Most of it is deeply rooted in ancient belief systems that are now archaic and expunged from the public mindset today. The result is an inability to explain where their traditions come from. I've found this to be particularly true lately when I ask where phrases or different aspects of holidays come from. They think about it for a moment, and realize that they don't have any great answers, it's just " always been". Tradition creates a sense of order and understanding in community, but what happens when we lose the meanings behind our traditions?

Views towards casual and close relationships and the commitment involved with marriage are handled differently from what I've witnessed so far. While there is definitely a growing trend in America towards more informal and easily dissolved marriages and romantic relationships, it seems to be an even more widely accepted arrangement in China. People who get married here may very well get married for "love", but the process seems far more like a business transaction to me. I've seen more than a few instances affected by the "One Child Policy" Where the choice between abortion and marriage push women to marry men that they would have never intended to do so in order to keep a child. and I've seen women marry simply because they want to have a child period, and it's a good business arrangement for them. The "affair" is a commonplace practice here on both sides of the gender divide and the monogamy of marriage doesn't seem to apply in the same way that it would at home. That being said, there are always the exceptions to rules in both cultures. This has just been my generalized observation so far.

It seems to me that when communism took over, China embraced much of the modernism that we enjoy in America and in other westernized countries. It also seems like they took some of our worst habits and amplified them. The first of which being materialism. The need to have the newest fad in fashion, technology, and automobile seems to be on the front of the mind of most Chinese. The concept of living simply and under budget doesn't seem to be a well spread one because the emphasis on happiness here seems to be based on the biggest and best object of your affection. While this greed and materialism is alive and well in America, it seems to be tempered with other idealism and the existential motivations of religion. From birth to death the primary goal here in China is to make the most money and be the best _____ in school, work, and society and to revel in the material rewards. It has certainly given me cause to ponder on my own life goals and priorities. What's the most important thing in life to me? And what would life be without all of the gadgets we fill it with?

The people here in China are not bad people, quite the opposite. I've met countless individuals here that are kindhearted, giving, service oriented, and seemingly in search of more out of their lives. Until now, I've never really considered how much of an effect religion has on our lives as far as giving us extended purpose beyond the here and now in our lives. A society rooted in religion makes its laws, priorities, and way of life based on the principles taught in that religion, for better or for worse. 

With that I'm sure I could steer this in the direction of politics, I won't ( because I don't like to jump into that mess, especially on the Internet), except to say that for me, I'm grateful to be from a country where it's an option.

-Ashley

{ Back to Blogger }

Hello everyone!
I've really been meaning to do this for a while. When I originally started the second blog on Type Pad it was because I was worried about being able to access our first blog in China. We eventually got a VPN that allows us unrestricted access to the internet, though, and I never got around to merging things back to where they belonged. The Type Pad blog will stay up just in case something happens, and to prevent any glitches from importing one to the other, but  updates will continue from here on out at  http://ashleyandjeffmclemore.blogspot.com (You'll also find it retrofitted with all the old posts as well).

Thank you for sticking in there with us, reading about our miscellaneous adventures, and being the tremendous support to us that you are. We love and miss you!

-Ashley

{ Look at That Booty}

We know the best sorts of people.

Look at that suitcase full of goodies! A special thanks to Jason, Bobby, and my Dad for making this "supply drop" a rousing success!

-Ashley

{A Pinch of Nostalgia}

 Sometimes it's just nice to have a good memory on standby on rainy days. This seems like a good one for today.

Graduation trip to Germany c. 2009

Love you, Mom.
-Ashley

{Let it Rain}

Perhaps I've made it a little too clear at work how much the summer weather is getting to me. The last two days have been cool in the 60's with rain and wind mixed in because of the typhoons, and I've been in heaven. I walked into work today and one of the sweet girls asked me if I was happier with the weather today. I smiled and nodded and told her the only thing I was missing was rain boots. She smiled back and sighed. " I have bad news for you then. It is going to get hotter in a couple of days. I hope you enjoy it while it lasts."

I intend to.

-Ashley