Family is the Glue that Holds Life Together

Here's just a few snapshots from the family shoot a few weeks back that stood out to me... Sometimes it's not the perfectly posed, planned and expected pictures that show the relationships that we form in this life. 

Cupcake Crazy

Ok... not quite... but I have been in a baking mood lately. I'm not sure if it's something to keep me busy and feeling useful, or if I just have an insatiable sweet tooth. Either way,  I've been experimenting with cupcake recipes and designs for the past month. Here are just a few:

Late Night ( Early Morning?) Ramblings

What does one do at 2 in the morning when one can't sleep? Blog, of course!

Life has been very crazy and disorganized lately. Not that I can say that it's ever been all that organized to begin with. I've been juggling different jobs, tutoring a fantastic little boy, and continuing the less than motivated search for more permanent employment.

Married life continues to develop and unfold with the many quirks and nuances that come with it. It's been a hodgepodge of trials and blessings trying to learn to transition from being an independent young woman with very strong opinions about life and the way things ought to be to one person in a partnership. Negotiating pillow rights, bank account discrepancies, Netflix channels, and a myriad of other seemingly simple facets of every day life have gone from things that happened by way of second nature to things that are planned out, discussed, and occasionally argued out until a happy agreement ( otherwise known as I am happy in the agreement) can be reached. Even with all the many ways that I am re-learning to live life, there are still so many reward to outway the little trials that it always is worth it at the end of the day.

Family, as those who know me and read this blog know, is a circus in almost every way. This past week family on my mother's side has been flying into town to visit with my grandmother, who is having a particularly difficult time with her cancer. It's nice seeing people that I haven't seen since the age of six ralley to her side, and it's a nice chance to catch up on stories, memories, traditions, and sentiments that are often shared when family is gathered. While nothing formal has been arranged around this reunion, it's been just as nice to causally spend time together.

Today those of use that could got together to take pictures as  a family. It was poignant, and I felt out of place at some points while I watched my grandmother and her siblings sit together for the camera. While they were having their moments I was snapping pictures around the gardens and of Jeff and the cousins. Portraits will come later ( when I get my hands on the CD).

The Funk

I don't know how to best describe it... but as of late I've just been off kilter? Blue? In a Funk? Depressed? Eh, I'm not sure. I do know that I'm trying to tackle the daunting grad school applications for programs that I'm not 100% sold that I want to go through, deciding whether or not I want to continue to pursue teaching, trying to find a steady job that will make the income that I want and need, continuing to adjust to the balance of marriage, and an ever tense family life overwrought by terminal cancers and the unpleasant thoughts, conversations and realities that come with it.

It's not that I'm dissatisfied with my life. I'm very grateful for it in all reality. I love my husband. He's my best friend, my confidant, and my rock. I love my family. I do, even though I have to take several time outs to remind myself of it. I love the people I surround myself with. I have amazing friends peppered throughout the different facets of my life. I feel ever uplifted and supported by ALL of them.

I need a new direction. I need a spark. I need a good book to read. I need a pedicure. I need to find some confidence in some of the bigger life decisions that are coming up sooner than I feel ready for.

What do you do when you feel out of rhythm? What do you do to kick-start yourself? Where do you find your motivation when it's waning?