I don't know how to best describe it... but as of late I've just been off kilter? Blue? In a Funk? Depressed? Eh, I'm not sure. I do know that I'm trying to tackle the daunting grad school applications for programs that I'm not 100% sold that I want to go through, deciding whether or not I want to continue to pursue teaching, trying to find a steady job that will make the income that I want and need, continuing to adjust to the balance of marriage, and an ever tense family life overwrought by terminal cancers and the unpleasant thoughts, conversations and realities that come with it.
It's not that I'm dissatisfied with my life. I'm very grateful for it in all reality. I love my husband. He's my best friend, my confidant, and my rock. I love my family. I do, even though I have to take several time outs to remind myself of it. I love the people I surround myself with. I have amazing friends peppered throughout the different facets of my life. I feel ever uplifted and supported by ALL of them.
I need a new direction. I need a spark. I need a good book to read. I need a pedicure. I need to find some confidence in some of the bigger life decisions that are coming up sooner than I feel ready for.
What do you do when you feel out of rhythm? What do you do to kick-start yourself? Where do you find your motivation when it's waning?
8154 trip 2020 : Day 15 Oregon - California
4 years ago
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