{Kalamata Olives}

I like olives. Really, I love anything that's pickled, but especially olives. After a particularly awful day of teaching, I packed up my stuff and decided to head to my parents house to hang out for a bit ( code for: they had cable and I didn't). I vented to my mother about coworkers, students, and how discouraged I felt. My brother got home from his job working as a cook at a local restaurant, Malones. He had spent the slow time of his shift that night stuffing a pint of teeny tiny kalamata olives by hand with blue cheese just for me. He had done it on a whim, having no idea the day I was having. They were just olives, but was just one of those little things that made a difference.


I miss my brother. There, I've said it. Not something I would have ever thought I'd say, let alone write. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the kid, he's always just... been there. So He's never been one that I've had to miss. That, and we have had our healthy moments of sibling rivalry so that when we did have times apart, like while I was at college for semesters at a time, they were welcome breathers.

But, It's been a LONG two years. A LOT has happened. We separated two very different people than we are now. He's had his first very large taste of freedom from home ties, and has been forced to develop a sense of self and an identity that stands alone from who he's perceived within our family dynamics. And that's pretty huge, and has made him someone I'm very excited to get to know better when he returns in February. But also, since he left, I got married. I've had to grow up ( just a little more) since then and learn to be just a fraction of a bit less self centered, and egotistical. The world in fact does NOT revolve around me all days of the week ( ignore Jeff in the background shaking his head vehemently), and while I've got a long way to go, I'm a nicer, softer version of me in a lot of respects than what he'll remember.

And so, I've been reminiscing a lot. I've actually spent a lot of time in my head lately. Partially because it's such a mess and needs sorting. I've thought back on all our silly fights. All my pushy, bossy, terrible, no good, troll under the bridge older sister moments. All of his at the time annoying and intolerable behaviors. And through it all, I just shake my head and sigh, because I know that the majority of the time, it was mostly my fault. The kid has his faults, but in general, he's a pretty sweet and caring person. Quite the people pleaser, he was always out to make others feel special, even if they (me) didn't appreciate it, and I'm so very ready for him to be home again.

-Ashley

Some Trials Try You More Than Others

My life has been very full, and very busy as of late. I've been able to develop a wonderful and deep relationship with an amazing man who treats me like royalty, I have been blessed to find employment while I work on improving myself, I have a brother who is preparing to serve an honorable mission in Mesa, Arizona for the next two years. The Lord is blessing me in so many ways, it only stands to reason that he's going to present me, and the people in my life equal opportunity for trials and growth.

My mother was diagnosed in the past couple of weeks with a Glioblastoma, which is an extremely aggressive form of brain cancer. We caught it by accident, because we took her in thinking she was having stroke like symptoms. As she stands, her life expectancy is 2-4 months. Because we caught it, and she's a candidate, they are going to perform a craniotomy next Friday, which has the potential to extend her life up to a year.

A lot to digest? It certainly was for me. After a weekend of bliss with the man of my dreams, it certainly grounded me back to Earth without any padding. Jeff and I had originally planned on a May wedding, but with the information about my mother in hand, we made the ultimate decision to push the wedding forward to February so that she would be able to actively participate and enjoy her daughter getting married. The entire concept has been slightly overwhelming, but I have been amazed with all the people in our lives that have stepped up to make this happen, not just in a simple and sweet way, but in a big loud and amazing and lavish way.

Really, my family and I are so grateful to those who have been supportive and ever present through this ordeal up until this point. I am so touched to see the generosity and selflessness of others, and it is reassuring to know that there are people in each of our lives that will be there in such a dire situation when you need them the most.

Its going to be a tough time ahead, and I'm still processing everything, and trying to move forward. I just wanted to let everyone know the situation, and to thank those of you who have been so awesome to me and my family. We appreciate you more than words can express.

I also want to thank my dear, dear fiance, without whom I would not be so put together and functioning. He has been my rock, my comfort, and my voice of reason. I am eternally grateful to have such a solid companion and outstanding man as my future husband. Thank goodness I got to him before someone else figured out how amazing he is.